I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So squirting runs in the family.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
