Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
