The maid of honor just puked.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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