last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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