i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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