If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
