I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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