Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
