he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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