Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
