Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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