just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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