I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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