I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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