You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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