just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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