Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
