Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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