Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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