Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just had sex on a roof
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
