Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
