Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
