So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
