drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
