how can u be prego again
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
