they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
