all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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