I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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