Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
