I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
