It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize