yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
