i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
