i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
