I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
