Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
