So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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