Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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