Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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