You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
