don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
