Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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