Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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