I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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