come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
