it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
