I got chris browned last night
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
