shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
