oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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