No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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