They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
