and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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