He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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