Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
