At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
