mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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