That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
