It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it's like iHOP with fire
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
