im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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