My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
