$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
