chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
